ukhh.com | features | articles | Manners Don't Cost A Thing by Mr Lingo

Manners Don't Cost A Thing.....

article 0061 added 22.06.03 words Mr Lingo

'Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!'
This is something that has been really bugging me for ages, something that can completely fuck up a gig, no matter how well it's gone, and put me in a shitty mood. Its recently come to a head, and now I'm proper mad…….
You see, this always seems to happen to me at gigs, and it's gonna make me sound like my mum, but it needs to be said, because I'm sure I'm not the only person this is happening to. So, the deal is this;
If you're one of these moody looking DJ's, who finds it a fucking chore when someone else is on the decks when you're Djing at a gig, whether it's a big club, or cramped little sweat-box, and you're about to take over from the other DJ……
…show them a little respect and have some fucking manners!!!!
I'm not asking for much, but it seems to me that every other DJ has some kind of issue with all the other DJ's competing with them. It seems every fucking hip-hop DJ wants to be the "thug-immortal", and they can only succeed by being the moodiest, angriest c#nt out there, with the biggest chip on your shoulder. Grow up you immature little twats. Save it for your 'ghetto' in the suburbs.
Now I'm not for one second particularly happy with the sudden increase of DJ's vying with me for work, but there's no reason to be an arrogant prick about things. When I'm taking over from another DJ, I like to have a little chat, find out a bit about them, see if they know anyone I do, do a little some networking, or whatever. I'm a sociable person, I want to meet new peeps, the more links I make, the easier my promoting life becomes. But for some reason certain DJ's have a problem with this…why? (ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD…)
There are three main situations that have caused this rant. Three times where another fellow brother of the decks has been fucking rude, and wound me up something chronic. I won't be naming names (yet), but these people know who they are…rude mother-Hubbard's.
1). @ gig in Kent. Vee-Kay and I were performing at a launch gig back home with another local act. To begin with, we were bumped down one slot on the running order, as they decided against coming to the sound-check, and eventually turned up 10mins before they were meant to go on. So Vee-Kay and I do our show, get the place rocking, and finish up. The other DJ then barges past me, and the antics begin…
First of all, he takes the record I had been scratching with off the platter, and chucks it onto the side of the booth. Then he finds the mic and stand I had been using is somehow in his way, and demands…
"Get this fucking mic out of here" to no-one in particular.
It's at this point that I decide to get my stuff, and leave the Prima-Donna to continue throwing his toys out of the pram, and to work out the mixer by himself. I go and stand outside the booth with Vee-Kay, JC, and to talk to some other people who've just arrived.
As they get onto their second record of their set, it's obvious there is no bass. The DJ starts shouting at the mixing desk, "there's no fucking bass, sort it out."
This is when I remember that I left the kill switches on, so there is no bass coming thru the mixer. I try and tell him this, but he's not interested. He stops the music, and I try and explain again.
"What fucking kill switches?" he says. I tell him they're by the X-Fader, and he still can't find them. It eventually gets sorted, but by then they've lost the crowd.
Mr Angry is later heard at the bar, grumbling something about 'amateurs.' Serious case of the POT, and the KETTLE methinks.
2). This time @ my Uni. My friend was putting on a MC/DJ battle, and asked me to come down and spin the tunes for the MC battle, and enter the DJ comp. I go along, and surprise, surprise, there's about a dozen people crammed into the booth, all trying to get onto the decks. When the battles start, I squeeze into the booth, and try and make some space. The first MC comes on, after the host tells the crowd to listen out for the LYRICAL CONTENT, and I drop the first inst, and…nothing.
The MC wants Gabbage. In fact, they all want Gabbage. I forget my Uni is stuck right in the Souwf London Gabbage heartland that is Elephant & Castle. Some rude, skinny-so solid-wannabe tells me to get off the decks so he can put on his gabbage. I leave the booth, and hang out while I sort out my records for the DJ battle. The MC battle continues, with the most incomprehensible drivel being spouted by the MC's. Only one hip-hop MC enters, and he looses to some guy I can't hear. Quality.
I'm last on for the DJ comp, and as I stand there clutching my copy of SMASH HITS PARTY '88, you should have seen the looks I got. Little did they know it has an amazing version of Eric B & Rakim-'I Know You Got Soul' on it. When I go into the booth, there's another guy in there putting a cd on. I ask him if he's next, and he goes, "nah man I'm up next." I ask him if he's Mr Lingo, cos that's who's up next. "Nah man, I ain't, but I'm next."
I point out that it's still the DJ comp, I'm Mr Lingo, and I'm next. I smile, and put my record on. I then notice this guy leaving with the Headphones. I try and get them off him, but he goes, "nah man, they're mine, get your own."
These are the headphones that had been there all night. I don't have time to argue, so do my set using the shit monitors, and the sound bouncing around my Uni's bar. I still come 3rd overall though.
3). @ CARGO. This final example involves a well-known UK hip-hop act. I was playing out at Cargo at one of the Beat Conscious gigs last year. Nearing the end of my set, I notice DJ of said group come onto stage. I nod, say hi, and try to start up conversation. The DJ looks at me as if I've grown a second head, and says nothing. Maybe he didn't hear me. So I tried again. Same response. Nothing. Fuck it, I thought. No point trying too hard. If this guy is so consumed by the little fame he had, that he couldn't lower himself to talk to me, then there's no point trying. Arrogant prick.
Now I'm sure, not every DJ is like this, but it seems that there are too many DJ's being like this for no reason, there's no unwritten code of Djing that I've missed out on.. Why can't you be sociable when Djing? In fact the few DJ's that have been up for a chat have become good mates, and I've had a great time Djing with them. For me Djing is sociable, fun, and a release from all the shit, and tension of work/life, and if I can't have a laugh, or a chat with another DJ then it looses some of its appeal.
Finally, to all those DJs to which this rant does not apply, big yourself up, and lemme know I'm not the only person with this problem…
- Mr Lingo