Handsome Boy Modeling School Jazz Café, Camden, London On a typical winter day, the people of the UK were treated to the dapper looks and lifestyle tips of Chest Rockwell (aka Prince Paul) and Nathaniel Merriweather (aka Dan The Automator). The two founders of the Handsome Boy Modeling School, and mentors to numerous musical acts who want to look good, had booked two nights at the Jazz Café in Camden to give an intimate seminar to those who were considering participating in their $60 course. It also turns out that promoting their school was not their only agenda, as when I had a chat with them (see LINK), they admitted that they were also considering setting up a UK branch. I attended the first night, part of a packed audience of people all waiting to see how they could make themselves more handsome. Before the two people everyone had come to see came on stage, a few pupils of the school kicked off proceedings with a little musical act, and a lot of showing off of good looks that come naturally after completing the aforementioned course. It was a chilled start to the evening, but unfortunately the crowd got bored easily and started talking amongst themselves, which ruined the atmosphere. It’s obvious that people just want to get on with the course taster. To appease matters, the school members start what is to become a major part of the night, crowd participation, by getting an audience member up on stage to rap. However, maybe because of nerves from being the first person to be picked from the crowd, he isn’t particularly good, not bad exactly, but certainly nothing special. After a couple more tunes, the band go off for a short interval, before coming back on to take up positions again, though this time as a support to the main act, Chest and Nathaniel. A big screen at the back of the stage sets us up as an animated Father Guido Sarducci pops up in front of a film called ‘Powaqqatsi’ to inform us of the imminent appearance of the two giants in the world of handsome. Their arrival on stage causes uproar from the people who they hope to recruit to the handsome lifestyle, and it is easy to see just why these men are revered for this particular aspect of life. Chest is dashing in his cardigan and beige slacks combo, and rounds out the outfit with the fitting accessory for the gentleman about town, the pipe. Nathaniel wows us all with his debonair suit, and they both pull off that most difficult of facial hairstyles, the handlebar moustache, with aplomb. To top it all off, they’re both drinking that most classy of drinks, champagne. They start the night of with a little talk from Chest, who tells us that we are “on the first step to looking better,” which is something we all want to hear. Then the tone of the night is set when Chest and Nathaniel take their positions at the back of stage under the screen while alumni from their school appear to tell us stories through the from of song about their time at the school. First up, in something akin to a video feed at an awards ceremony, or like Top of the Pops (where a band will sing live and have a recorded instrumental in the background) in reverse, De La Soul, also animated, treat us to their experience with the school. With De La providing the vocals, and the current pupils on stage providing the music, it is not obvious what Chest and Nathaniel are actually here for, other than to set up the video links, later with such stars as Bjork and Linkin Park, and to use a DVD mixer to scratch, and generally mess around with the ‘Powaqqatsi’ film. And, as a crowd, we probably shouldn’t expect every past member of the school to actually be there to regale us with their tales, but the animated video certainly does disappoint in a live setting, there’s a slight feeling of being cheated. However, it’s not all doom and gloom, as we are still experiencing the rare treat of seeing these two masters of handsome in action, albeit little action. Between tunes, either one or the other of them will step to the front to give us more tips on living like themselves, to bring audience members onstage, or to introduce other members of their school. One such graduate was Manfred Winters, someone not instantly recognisable as a graduate due to his rather large girth and poor wig. Used mainly to garner laughs from the audience, he performed his job, although he wasn’t a comedy master, sticking more to talking about penises. We were also treated to other musical members, this time in the flesh. Two members of the Hieroglyphics, Casual and Domino were brought on, although separately and at different parts of the show. Casual treated us to a couple of tracks, including “it’s Like That”, which gave a much needed injection of live performance into the proceedings. As for Domino? Well, as mentioned previously, the two main lecturers would also involve people from the crowd, maybe in an attempt to prove to us how easy the course is. One of these times, which went more to show how to benefit from the course rather than what is involved, was the ‘Win a date with Domino’ section, where three lucky ladies got the chance to answer one question well enough to impress this Handsome Boy graduate. For those interested, the question Domino wanted answered was “If we went out and we got into a passionate moment, and you turned into an animal, which one would it be and why?” Other members of the audience were also treated to a makeover section with Manfred, and yet more the chance to impress the rest of us with their catwalk skills. One other girl was also serenaded by yet another ‘in the flesh’ ex-pupil, Josh Hayden. Two final members of the school also joined their tutors on stage, one of whom was the slightly unconvincing Jamie Cullum (it’s hard to believe someone so elf-like has actually graduated from this course), and the other who stunned us all in her Oscars style dress, Roisin Murphy, who also gave us an equally stunning performance of ‘The Truth’ about the school. Overall, the seminar was pretty impressive, and I imagine that if there were any doubters in the audience, they will have been converted and eager to sign up to the course. In trying to bring to life their curriculum as featured on ‘So…How’s Your Girl?’ and ‘White People’, Chest and Nathaniel have had to try something different from the prescribed hip hop gig, and in that, they succeeded, although some may have found the comedy stylings, audience participation, and the unfortunate but necessary use of videos not to their ‘superior’ and haughty tastes. - Mike © ukhh.com 1999 - 2005