The Wu Tang Clan The W LP Many track names have been changed to respect the insolent. In the wake of shockingly bad follow-up albums by today's crem de la crem of hiphop such as Eminem ("The Marshall Mathers LP"), Common ("Like water for chocolate"), Kool Keith ("Mathew") and Jeru ("Heroez 4 hire"), album #3 by the now legendary Wu Tang Clan finds the guys well aware that the "haters" are hovering; waiting for the moment when weakness and frailty is exposed. So, that said, "The W" is careful not to disappoint - yup, it does not fail to be an utter "Shaolin Finger Jab" in the eye for anyone naive enough to expect the Wu not to follow this regretable trend in Rap whereby acts go from hungry to bloated, from fat to flabby after one album...... An up-tempo beat with irrelevant gunfire and kung-fu flick soundbites muttering in the background serves as the first sonic backdrop for this long-awaited reunion and when The Gza commemorates the way in which "Some say the bullets flew by like bees" this reunion reminds me of a certain scene in CB4. Sounding like a B-side for some Wu-Affiliate's 12", the underwhelming "CHAMBER POT" is not a particularly great track nor an especially bad track - and it is only the opening shot after a substantial hiatus so perhaps it'll get better right? On their first album they were kung-fu lovin' B-Boys, for their sofemore they were kung fu Mafiosi with a penchant for Nation of Islamd propaganda and for album #3? It seems that they've run out of titles of Martial Arts films to use as track titles and lyrics and so the glib Kung-fu-flick philosophising and 5% rhetoric is drowned in a stagnant swomp of moronic Eascoast Gangsta babble lacking any kind of purpose or point. Indeed, Track #3, "Unbarable ( thick shit" finds this gaggle of 30 (or is it 40) somethings who've clearly got more money and ego than sense, sharing such wisdom as the line "something in the slum went rumpapumpump;" I hope their nasty nursery rhymes make them feel big and important because they don't scare me. Once famed for their lyrical liquid-swordsmanship, the Wu seem to think they're now all poets but I personally found their lyrics far more poetic when the frantic rugged beats didn't give them enough time to wallow in self-importance. Perhaps with the exception of a couple adequate Gza verses OR the always energetic (and often incomprehensible) Ghostface Killah, most of the album's lyrics are neither skillfully delivered nor rich in content so you'd expect the Wu Elements to at least try and paint over the hefty lyrical defesit with some bangin' beats? Right? The "Production" for "HOLLOW BONES" sets the trend for instrumentals which are totally lacking any "beat;" being composed solely of a looped sample from an R&B record - if that. I don't know how The Rza et al can cash their "producer's" cheque and sleep at night because "The W" is definitely not the work of hiphop's greatest beatmakers. When the Rza was broke and hungry all he had was an ASR-15 with which to craft discordant jagged soundscapes but now that he's blown up,why put in the effort if it'll cut into the inflated budget - especially since his mythical reputation allows him to get away with less and less with each new rlease... The Energetic "REDBULLshit" featuring Redman " is colourful enough to keep you listening but his thuggish taunts ring hollow and even if the beat does switch up for each emcee, it never amounts to much. Method Man cranks out another scatty ditty, proclaiming "I've been shit, I'm from the bowels of the city:" his lavatorial- lyricism catching splashback off the line "In a room full of crackers I might cut the cheese." However, contrary to their pledge to "Bring the pain of a thousand migraines." This track (andtoo much of the album) sounds like a disorganised jam session when it should sound like a military operation on wax. The most manipulated beat during "The W" appears to be the James Bond sampling "ONE BLOOD UNDER" where the crooning of another unofficial Wu member (JUNIOR REID) pads out a sluggish and unexciting vignette of the streets. Master Killah has clearly realised how shit he sounded with that painfully protracted, off the beat pseudo-poetry but now that he's decided to return to a more conventional style it's clear why he's the only WTC member still to drop a solo joint. The mentally subnormal ODB (get well soon) makes a token appearance for "CONDITIONER" which is similarly padded out by one of hiphop's haemorrhoids namely Poop Doggy log - Look! I'm trying to make this review barable because you'll need some light relief when you press play on your stereo believe me. Anyway, this unlikely duo exchange mumbled verses over a beat which doesn't merit comment. To be fair (or generous) Snoop Dogg's predictably pointless verses aren't the worst I've heard from him. However, I can NEVER condone the exploitation of one man's misfortune (even if it was ODB's own choice to blow his royalties on Crack, Acid and Harpic) so this track makes me feel really uncomfortable. The whole point of ODB is that he's the Wu's charismatic hype-man but you wouldn't know that if this was your first acquaintance with the oeuvre of mr Russell Jones.... Before the next track we're Blessed with a Gza "freestyle" over a suitably banging beat. It's OK but this is an album so what was stopping him from sitting down and expanding this into a proper track? I'm sorry but I can tell the difference between "Raw" and half-baked and this album is more of the latter.... Oh! Do the Wu finally have a beat which can fire them up? How can people ignore the fact that "PROTECT YA NECK (the fall off)" uses the same unmanipulated sample from "Tramp as Salt'n'Peppa's song from over a decade ago? It's not too bad and I guess my objection to it is due largely to the fact that this lazy assembly of (nearly) the whole Clan is probably the best thing on the album so far. Nas turns up for what starts out as a protest song against police-brutality in the projects but only Succeeds Inadvertently to take part in the plea for the provision of euthanasia for over the hill emcees that is "LET MY NIGGAS LIVE." This is yet another US hiphop track which seems to celebrate the "New York State of mind" as much as it professes to depict it for cautionary purposes. Yet again, the outro which segways into the next track is incredibly literal (ie: a kid getting shot) it makes me wonder if all this album - this group - all hiphop even - is it all one joke which I am too stupid to get? If not, then why do I get the impression that Nas, The Wu Tang, Junior Reed, et al are laughing all the way to the bank at my expense???? "I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP; mummy will you leave the light on please" finds Clan members, most notably Ghostface Killah abandoning rhyming on beat to instead make like a preacher; rapping and ranting over a minimalistic remix of a certain version of "Walk on by." Indeed, here, Chef from Southpark turns up playing this character called... Isaac Hayes!? (and before all you vinyl-lovin' anal retentives out there start scribbling letters of complaint, I was being sarcastic). Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, Once GFK and The Rza are done, Hayes grumbles something about "stop all the killing." Again, much like "Chamber music" or a handful of other tracks here, it would pass as a filler or a compilation contribution but as it is, it fails miserably as an album track. Time for another regrouping for a semi-banger. Yep, with speak of the trife life, 85ers etc, the instrumental for "Do you feel my Orang-outang?" (well, that's a far more entertaining and inspiring title than Meth et al's choice of "DO YOU REALLY (THANG, THANG)"). has an almost circus/carnival feel. Lyrically it reminds me of something off of method man's "Tical 2000; Judgement day" - that's not good. The hidden track which follows this implores "you got to check out the W" - Umm, say if this is a stupid question but why ask people who are already checking out "The W" to check it out?? Speaking of circuses, let's check out what's coming out of Busta Rhyme's ring with "THE Excrement." Yep, 9 men deep (ten if you include the inexplicably ubiquitous Cappadonna) and having evidently sold-out, they've now got no other option than to buy in. Well, if you enjoy yet another disgustingly rich guy pretending to not give a fuck, then you'll love this. Personally, I think there should be a law against mr Rhymes appearing on anything other than choruses but he's not especially bad here. Raekwon steps in and does up the ante with his money-hungry monologue.. My favourite quotable from this track would have to be his instruction to "sodemise money, rape two hundred thousand." The Verse by the za which follows is well executed but hardly original. I guess y'all will have already familiarised yourself with travel sick" one way or another but I'll break it down for those still not in the know. The instrumental sounds like John Shuttleworth playing the theme from "Enter the Dragon" a bit too fast. It does to that wicked theme song what Masta Ace & co did to the signature tune from "The Simpsons" with the track "Spread it out." I'm guessing that the track title is intended to evoke a more gritty, grimy, "hiphop" counterpart to Rock's mosh pits but the cheesy chorus would probably feel more at home in a toddler's play pen. Much like that song "Cherchez laghost" off of "Supreme Clientelle," it seems that The Wu Tang Clan have given up on pushing the envelope of hiphop in favour of languishing in the Happy-House Trendy's in-tray.... Rather than calling their album "The W," it would be more apt to have given it the title "Running on E" because, having totally exhausted their creative feul-tank shortly after leaving the starting line, The Wu summonse Junior Reed once more to accompany (read pad-out) another passionate testamony by Ghostface Killah. These wringing-of-hands/tearing-of-garments/tearing-of-hair type tracks mmight have carried some weight if the same emcee hadn't spent most of the rest of the album making artless threats and boasts. The album finishes with yet another hidden track - seeing how just about every other track has it's own hidden track, why didn't they take the best from each pair, condense them and come with one track which could be really good rather than two tracks which are less than good? They're trying to substitute quantity for quality and boy do I not like that! So, to summarise: The Wu Tang Clan Can't even be bothered to reform fully so now, the Clan now apparently includes Jr. Reed, Redman, Nas and Snoop Dogg, The Rza and the Wu Elements can't be bothered to lay down breakbeat tracks over simplistic sample loops to deliver anything close to a decent instrumental displaying anything more than elementary beat-craftsmanship - and the lads can't even be bothered to complete the four-letter word which sums up this album. If you haven't figured it out yet, the second letter is "a" and the final letter is "k" - and if you still haven't worked it out for yourself then you'll probably love the album and you should buy it along with some cleanex the next time you leave the house.... (c) Copyright 2000, CD Goldie for ukhh.com - Sumo Kaplunk | profile © ukhh.com 1999 - 2000